"Asking First" with Mike Domitrz

Today at the Citadel: Speaking with the Military and Military Schools

Whenever people hear about a speaking engagement I have coming up at a military school or on a military base, a common response is "That must be a tough audience."  Why?  Why should those males and females be any tougher to connect with than a group of college students?  They are the same age.  They have goals to succeed in life.  Just like at any school, the far majority want to "do the right thing" in living their lives.

Today, I spoke at The Citadel.  The cadets were great -- extremely attentive and very responsive.  Afterward, several cadets came up and shared with me.  As I am with all audiences, I was honored to hear their personal stories (friends, family, etc...).   Some discussed wanting to get more involved with these issues at their school.  Along with the cadets, staff and faculty were supportive throughout the entire process of bringing me to their school.

A stereotype I found disheartening and to be false is, "Getting through to the military must be tough."  When you enter a room with a predisposed attitude about your audience, you are dooming your own results.  Awfully ironic.  You end up being the one with the attitude (because you are convinced or scared your audience isn't going to listen).  Consequently, you don't bring the same "fun" or "positive" approach you normally possess.  In doing so, the audience gets a much less inspiring experience from you.  What happens?  You fail and then tell yourself, "I knew that group was going to be rough."  The group wasn't rough.  You were -- in your approach and beliefs.

When I was in high school, I had a particularly bad cross country race.  Afterward, my parents said, "We knew you were going to run poorly.  You had convinced yourself before the race started.  You were focused on how bad the course was, how cold it was, etc..."  My parents were right.  They said, "Whether you think you are going to win or lose, you will always be right."  I never forgot that lesson and have seen it come true over and over again.

Next time you have a presentation, are you going to have a "winning" experience?  Of course you will.  After all, you know the majority of each audience is good people who want to do the right thing!

Making the Grade with Ms. Doubt Ya: Convincing the Inconvincible

Have you ever thought, “We could never get this to happen in our school or community.  We just don’t have the support.  We just wouldn’t be able to convince the ‘powers that be’ to do this programming with our students”?

Since speaking in Oregon last week, my e-mail box has been blessed with writings from students, community members, parents, educators, and administrators.  One particular e-mail both inspired me and made me laugh. “H”, a wonderful woman in Oregon who I met last Wednesday, was e-mailing me this weekend about the response she was hearing in the community (from my presentations in 3 local high schools).  In her e-mail, she shared,

“She said you even made the grade with Ms. Doubt Ya (not the real name) -- I won't even bother to explain -- but you could make that a title of a book on how to convince the inconvincible!”

H, I didn’t convince the inconvincible.  You did!  You and your many associates & teammates in the Grant’s Pass region of Oregon (from Linda to Brett to Joann to Dennis to your entire Board) did what it took to succeed.  Convincing the inconvincible relies on one sole factor:  at least one person having the courage to stand up against the inconvincible to say, “We are going to do this.”  Someone having enough conviction in the possibility for positive community change to go against what the inconvincible thought. 

All the students who have been thanking me actually owe all of you a huge “Thank you.”  I would have not have had the honor to talk with them if many others (such as yourselves) had not talked to everyone they could to help bring the program to your community.

Even more impressive was the element of teamwork you and your fellow community leaders showed.  While we frequently have faith-based institutions and organizations such as Planned Parenthood help sponsor my program, rarely do we get to see them co-sponsor the event together.  You simply didn’t give up.  When a local theatre wasn’t willing to help you, you went to a local religious leader who provided you a fantastic venue and his personal support.  He even came out under bad weather conditions to show his support.

Then there was another person key to being able to “Convince the Inconvincible” – a student at a nearby high school.  The origin of this trip is an individual high school student.  She saw the “Can I Kiss You?” program at a conference in Portland during November of 2005.  Afterwards, she was determined to have the presentation given in her nearby high schools.  She immediately started asking what it would take to have me fly out to her town.  We told her.  A fair amount of times when a student makes this inquiry, you don’t hear back from the student.  Not this student.  She went to her Mom and many others to make her goal a reality for over 1000 students this past Thursday.  Why?  Because she was determined to “Convince the Inconvincible.”

Next time you think, “We can’t get this program or plan to workout”, stop and ask yourself, “Why not?”  H and all her friends did!  “After all, who is the inconvincible?  You or the peoples’ views you fear?”

P.S.  Today, I am thrilled to call H and the many people of Oregon my friends.

Drugs. Alcohol -- Why not Intimacy?

Today, I was speaking at 3 high schools in the surrouding communities of Grant's Pass, Oregon.  After one of my presentations, a student came up and said, "You know we hear all about drugs, meth, and drunk driving, but we never hear messages like this one.  Why not?  Why don't our schools address these issues more often?  After all, these are the issues that effect more of us than any other problem." 

She was asking a great question. Think about how right she is.  More students in her high school are going to be intimate with someone (at some point in their life) than will ever try drugs.  Her school will have students who choose never to drink (ever).  Yet, during the course of their lifetime, just about every one of those students will choose to be intimate with another person.

We must get more conversations in schools about healthy relationships, sexuality, intimacy, and ending sexual violence.  Most importantly, we need to give students the proper tools to handle sexual situations.  Just saying, "Do the right thing. Respect your partner" doesn't mean much to students.  Why?  If they don't know "how" to "do the right thing", how can they?  Schools teach students how to say "No" to drugs.  Now, lets teach those same students how to always respect themselves and their partners with regards to engaging in intimacy -- "asking first."  Schools teach students how to help a friend who's life has been effected by drugs.  Now, lets teach those same students how to support a friend or family member how is a survivor of sexual assault.

The good news?  Some schools are taking very active roles in providing their students these conversations.  For example, all 3 principals today were extremely supportive of the message getting to their students.  They are already discussing how to follow-up and keep these lessons at the forefront of their students' lives.  As I told the student who approached me today, "The good news is that your school IS DOING SOMETHING.  You are thanking me for being here and sharing this message.  I wouldn't be here without your principal and all of the support of the local community."  The question is how will we she take charge and help keep the message alive amongst her peers?  Based on her enthusiasm and energy, I am confident she will make a huge impact.  For her efforts, many people's live will be positively changed.

What conversations are you helping to bring to your community?

In 2007, Teach or Learn?

Each new year brings us the opportunity to learn and to teach.  What are you doing today to make 2007 special?  Imagine you just heard your computer tell you that a new e-mail message was received.  The e-mail is from someone you know well and asks you, "What project are you excited about this year?  What is your #1 goal for creating positive change in your life and in the life of the people around you?"  What would you e-mail back?  You can do it right now. Stop reading.  Write down your responses.  The e-mail also included 2 more questions.  "What are you doing to challenge yourself and learn?  How are you going to help teach others?"  Go ahead and answer.  If you want, e-mail me your answers to us at The Date Safe Project at info@thedatesafeproject.org.  

Once you tell someone a goal or objective, you are more likely to start accomplishing it!  Of course I am not going to ask you to share with me and then not share objectives we are working on.  Once you read our goals, hold me accountable.  For 2007, I am going to do the following:

1. Keep this blog up-to-date (at least 3 entries per week).  As you can see, this site is a new version for us.  You can still read all of the old postings to this blog.  Scroll down and you will find all of them or look in the "Archives" in the right-hand column.

2. Create a regularly scheduled release date for our podcast -- "Sexual Assault, Consent, & Our Students" which means you will know exactly when the next broadcast will be available. In 2006, we ran the "test pilots" of the podcast and your feedback has inspired to make the podcast a regular production.  To get things started, you will be able to hear the first podcast in 2007 on Monday, January 29th.  This is going to be a great show featuring the Executive Director from Men Can Stop Rape.  During that podcast, we will announce how often our podcasts will be broadcast and when (every 2 weeks or once per month, etc...).  If you download the podcast from www.datesafeshow.com, you will automatically get each broadcast as soon as it is available -- including the first one for 2007!!

3.  Produce a new educational product.  In 2006, we released the "Do You Ask?" poster series which continues to be purchased for schools, community organizations, and groups throughout North America (www.doyouask.org).  From designers to educators to experts around the country, many people helped create the final results.  Much thanks goes to each of them.

What am I going to learn?  I have purchased several audio books I am looking forward to listening to on my travels to schools and campuses.  With technology, audio books are easy to listen to while on long drives.  They get you thinking which helps your time in the car go by quickly (just don't try to write "notes" while you drive). 

Books can vary from personal skills to helping you or be very specific to the societal issues we address in our work.  Here is an example of a personal skill I recently learned in an audio book: Ron White teaches memory.  Before listening to a 45 minute audio file of Ron, I never knew how much a person can improve their memory skills.  This past Thursday night, I had a 80 minute drive from St. John's University in St. Joseph, MN to my hotel near the Minneapolis aiport.  In less than 45 minutes driving time, Ron's audio file taught me how to easily remember any list of up to 20 items.  The surprising part was how easy the "system" is.  You don't even have to be creative.  Think of all the ways a better memory can help, especially with names.  Plus, Ron can teach speed reading.  Read more of those books you've been waiting to discover.  If you are wondering, I don't know Ron and have never met him in-person.  His educational materials are just so good that I want to tell you about them.  Check it out for yourself at: www.memoryinamonth.com 

Our society has lots of work ahead to address healthy dating, relationships, respect, communication, sexual assault awareness, sexual/dating violence, supporting survivors, and choosing the most powerful ways to address these issues in schools, religious institutions, homes, communities and in the media.  What role do you accept on this journey?  Please decide now. More importantly, commit now!

Parents need to engage teenagers with talks about safe dating and intimacy because defining borders for kids is essential to helping protect them. Their friends will tell them "Once you've talked, you've killed the mood," but you know better.

Without sounding like you are lecturing and without endorsing sexual activity, how do you approach the issue of healthy dating and intimacy with your child?   
Kids are constantly told by their parents how “times were different” and “we were more respectful.”  The truth is that our culture has had a very unhealthy and confusing approach to dating, intimacy, and sexuality for a very long time -- today is no different.  Even though manipulation and physical force was frequently used in dating, intimacy, and sex, sexual assault was rarely discussed in official programs or meetings on violence or alcohol abuse.   Since no one was outwardly addressing these issues, we forget how we faced these issues ourselves.

Once parents admit the feelings of confusion they had as a young person and discuss their 'scary' or 'troubling' moments, the teenagers are more likely to connect with their parents.  Sharing difficult and scary moments also helps your kids see the dangers and consequences of making bad decisions ~ in a realistic and thought-provoking manner.

Instead of telling your child, "How times were different when you were young," find a commonality between the two of you.  When you tell someone how different it was back when you were young, why should your child think you can understand what they are going through?  Connect with your son or daughter by opening the conversation with a question that shows you do understand their worries, concerns, and thoughts.

For example, a parent saying, "I remember getting all nervous before a date because I was wondering lots of stuff like, 'Will my date like me?', 'Will my date find me attractive,' 'I wonder what my date is really like.'  Do you ever get nervous like that?"  This type of question can make a parent more approachable to their child.  No matter what your age is or of the “times” you grew up in, these difficult feelings cross all generations.  The key to success is asking in a sincere and caring tone.

What are the correct dating behaviors and practices to teach? 
Self-respect, respect for your partner, and high standards need to be taught to males and females at all times.  When a person believes in his or her self, the person is more likely to make the "right" decisions in difficult moments.  Students with low self-esteem are more likely to lower their standards to please their partner -- a very dangerous and unhealthy practice.

We need to teach young people to "expect to be respected" and to not tolerate any forms of disrespect (a date should ask before trying to do "something with you").  We need to teach how speaking out for yourself is both strong and sexy (many fear speaking out will be unattractive to their dates).   We need teach them to better understand what "respecting" a date means.  Respect is not simply opening doors, paying for meals, or other signs of chivalry.  Respect is holding your date in the highest esteem and always getting your date's permission before trying to do "something" with your date. 

One of the most common mistakes parents make is assuming that the males are always the sexual aggressors.  More and more, we are hearing about females becoming the more sexually assertive person in the relationship.  Try to avoid all assumptions of gender roles.

At what age do my kids begin learning about intimacy? 
By observing their parents, children learn intimacy at an extremely young age.  If a young man sees his father ask his mother for a kiss, he is more likely to believe that asking is how he should act.  If a young woman hears her mother talk about how respectful and loving her father is, the young woman is more likely to want a more respectful and loving partner.

Parents should begin discussing appropriate touching at early school ages and then advance into issues of intimacy as those years approach.  Due to the images and discussions the television and the entertainment industry promote to younger audiences, parents need to have these conversations at much younger ages (for many, prior to the age of 10 is appropriate -- kids are seeing or hearing about much more explicit behavior by this age).  Even if you do not let your children watch such programs, they are likely to hear about these shows from their peers.   

There is no one magical age for these conversations to take place.  Each set of parents must decide what is right for his or her child.  However, the day your child is born is the day your child begins watching you.  Make a conscience effort to display respect in all aspects of intimacy and sexuality by asking before kissing people.  When your kids watch you, what will they learn?

What do I teach my kids about the "Age Laws"?
Parents must teach their child about age laws.  Each state has very specific laws regarding minors involved with sexual activity.  Two 15 year olds could give each say, “Yes” to engage in certain sexual activity with each other and they would still be breaking the law in many states.  In addition, parents need to help young people understand that these laws exist to help "protect" them.  Learn the laws in your state so that you can address the legal aspect – just don’t make the legal element your focus.  Kids typically find such conversations to be boring and most kids don’t fear the authorities catching them engaged in sexual acts.

How can parents help their kids avoid peer pressure?
Immediately begin treating your child with respect and with great value. By teaching a child how "special" he or she is, you can help him or her understand "why" getting involved with intimacy should be saved for an extremely "special" moment.  Research proves that the earlier a child gets involved in intimacy is directly related how much "value" the child places in his or her own self.  For this reason, we need to connect with our children in an engaging and "open" approach.   

Children fear being lectured and being judged.  Children love to be "heard."  Ask questions, listen with an open mind, and then have positive discussions.  When your child feels a special connection with you and understands "why" you have such strong beliefs, he or she is more likely to believe YOU over his or her friends.  Plus, when a child understands the "why" to not getting involved with certain behavior, he or she will have a real reason for saying "no" to peer pressure (instead of simply saying "because my parents said so").  The child will WANT to say "no" because he or she will believe that "no" is the right answer!

My son is very respectful -- why would I need to worry about him sexually assaulting someone?
Most "respectful" males still learn about aspects of intimacy through their friends and what they see portrayed on television and in the movies.  These sources of education promote disrespectful behavior by teaching males that if they are "smooth," they can just make their moves and their partner will want them.  When males just "make their moves," they take a tremendous risk of engaging in behavior that their partners do not want – thus leading to committing a sexual assault.  Parents need to talk with their sons about truly respecting a partner by understanding how valuable and special each person is as a human being (including the body, the mind, sexuality, personality, and values).  Sons need to learn that the only way you can be sure what your date wants is to "ask" your date first.

My daughter is tough and outspoken -- I don't have anything to worry about, right?
WRONG!  Many tough and outspoken females have been sexually assaulted or have become unexpectedly pregnant.  A "tough" and "outspoken" female might think she is invincible and that belief can be extremely dangerous (she may believe "she would never get pregnant" or that "no man could ever sexually assault me").  By being over-confident, she may be less likely to see potential signs of trouble.  Another female may be very confident in most aspects of her life, but not with intimacy or relationships. 

Parents need to teach their daughters "awareness" to better equip their daughters for noticing signs of trouble.  At the same time, we must understand that there is no 100% form of sexual assault prevention that a victim or survivor can utilize (100% prevention can only result by the assailant not attempting the behavior).  A young woman or man could follow every healthy dating advice ever given and still be sexually assaulted.  Stress to your daughter that she cannot ever be at fault for someone sexually assaulting her – this point must be stressed.  Many, many females never tell their parents about their assault because the daughter fears how their parents will react.  Help your daughter know that you will be there to support her and love her at all times!

Do I really need to have these conversations?
Not talking about complex issues simply leads to confusion.  When kids talk to their friends, every component is often exaggerated and glamorized (every romantic encounter is amazing and romantic in their “dream world”).  Thus, building the young person’s drive to experiment with sex, drugs, and other dangerous behaviors.  Help the child learn the truth by speaking honestly about your memories in a manner that they can relate to.  If you can be a little humorous, you can help break the barriers down for your teenager to start talking openly to you."

Is It Okay to Talk About Consent with Teenagers and Does It Fit a Discussion on Abstinence?

Recently, colleagues on a listserv were discussing consent and education based on consent. Responding to one of my e-mails, a colleague voiced concerns about being able to discuss consent with teenagers – due to the sexual culture in their region of the country. Her comments were as follows:

"I feel like talking about consent is pushing the limit in my area. The schools would just rather I come in and say that kids shouldn't do it at all, and that if you are messing around sexually with someone, or are a female dressing sexually, there is a better chance that you will be assaulted b/c you are 'giving mixed messages' and attracting the attention of potential rapists. Of course, I do not say that. The attitude is that if students are having sex, they have made a bad choice and can and should choose differently."

I was happy to have the opportunity to share how consent education is appropriate for all forms of sexual education (abstinence, abstinence plus, comprehensive, etc...). Normally, I would not share an e-mail I've written to help shed light on a topic. However, this particular concern surrounding teaching consent is such a common concern among educators (and parents) that we saw the e-mail exchange as an opportunity to share with others. With that colleague’s permission, below you can read my response to her comments:

MY COMMENTS . . .

Actually the conversation on consent stresses respecting boundaries and standards. If students were asking before engaging in intimacy, more partners would say, "No" because they would feel less pressure. They would feel more empowered by being given a choice. Unequivocally, students in our programs say "asking first" would greatly reduce the amount of sexual activity among their age group. They state four main reasons:

1) They are not typically comfortable enough with the person to ask first and so having to ask would become uncomfortable in those situations. Thus, stopping the advancement of the sexual activity.

2) If they were being asked and were not sure of what they actually wanted, they would be given a choice to say, "No" without any negative consequences or without guilt/pressure being applied to them (in a healthy situation of asking first, you do not ever pressure someone or question them about their choice to say, "No.").

3) You cannot give consent when you are drunk. A great deal of intimacy occurs under the influence of alcohol and other drugs. Thus, these occurrences would be greatly reduced if consent was required before engaging in intimacy.

4) When students have learned about consent, they are more likely to feel comfortable telling their partner that he/she must ask first. In doing so, the person is sending a strong signal of healthy expectations and boundaries. By learning consent, the person who is having "moves made" on him/her is more likely to speak out.

In a program on consent, you can tackle the "mixed messages" theory head on. You can show the problems in ever trying to "read" another person's mind or messages. If you have any message, ask the person about what you are reading into their signals. With the proper skills, you can do so without being tacky or disrespectful (communication skills).

Teaching consent is much more than simply "how to say 'No' to your partner." Discussing consent means teaching communication skills, respect (what it means to each person), boundaries, personal values, and much more. In addition, discussing consent involves sharing what happens when someone does not get consent and how to support a survivor of sexual assault.

Many of you have mentioned your regional cultures as a reason for concern about discussing this issue. Ironically, we do a great deal of programming with religious institutions who want their students to have a discussion that respects abstinence while still preparing them for healthy intimacy down the road. You can easily share with communities how discussing consent is the ultimate way to discuss abstinence. If partners always asked first, your child's desire to be abstinent would always be respected AND honored.

======= What was the response of the colleague who sent the e-mail to me? I received a wonderful e-mail thanking me for providing clarity on an often cloudy subject matter. I simply appreciated having the opportunity to explain education on consent with points that apply to all cultural regions.

If you ever have a subject you would like me to discuss in the blog, please e-mail me and request for me to answer in the blog.

Is Your Teen Giving it up Online? Advice for parents with teens of the “MySpace Generation.”

Your teenager’s “group” used to be a few classmates from school. Now, thanks to online communities like MySpace and Friendster, a teen's peer group can be hundreds – from all places and all ages – and keeping in touch takes just the click of a mouse (and occupies most of your teen’s computer time). Congratulations! You’re the proud parent to a member of what has been coined the “MySpace Generation.”

MySpace (www.MySpace.com) is a free, online networking community allowing members to create mini-sites for themselves, with photos, music and profile info. According to a recent comScore Media Metrix survey, the site’s membership has increased by 609% - making it a buzzword you’ve probably heard somewhere in the media.
Members become “friends” by contacting other members and asking to be added as a friend. Comment boards, private message sending and instant messaging are also available, helping friends communicate at any time.

So what’s the big deal? Well, with more than 24 million members, chances are your teen either already has a MySpace site or will have one in the very near future. You need to be prepared to confront the possibility that your teen will establish a site which may contain photos and information you do not approve of.

Logging on to your teen’s MySpace site is sort of like opening his or her diary – except that this diary is available for the whole world to see. Like accidentally finding a diary, whether or not to log on and view your teen’s MySpace profile is a common moral dilemma for most parents. How can you respect your teen’s privacy and protect them at the same time? Simple – with open, honest and proactive communication.

Here are some tips for parents on discussing MySpace sites and other online socializing with their teens:

1) Photos. Although MySpace prohibits posting photos that are pornographic, your opinion may differ on what is too racy for your teen. If you already know your teen is posting inappropriate photos, ask him or her why they’ve chosen to represent themselves that way. What is he or she trying to say with the photos they’ve posted? Idea: Have your teen make a list of what makes him or her a “10.” Then, compare that list to the photos used and ask what qualities the photo conveys. (Note: you may think there’s no way your teen has inappropriate photos of him or herself, but Web cams, camera phones and digital cameras have made it surprisingly simple for teens to take candid photos without your knowledge.) Ideally, your teen will pick a photo of something they like (their favorite musical artist, book cover, CD cover, etc..) and not post any pictures of him or her self.

2) Profile. MySpace provides teens with a place to display their creativity. Profiles range from the very basic, to elaborate sites full of color, music, and animation. Encourage your teen to be expressive, but to keep in mind how it will be perceived. If your teen is 14, she shouldn’t list her MySpace age as 17. Remind your teen that honesty is essential. Even if it’s just a joke, inaccurate profile entries can attract the wrong kind of people to your teen’s site - such as online predators.

3) Limiting Online Social Time. When I was growing up, I was not allowed to be on the phone all day and all night talking to my friends. The comScore Media Metrix survey mentioned above also indicates that the majority of MySpace members are between the ages of 12-17. This places them well within the boundaries of parental supervision (after all, they’re probably using the family computer). Establish a limit or a curfew to online chatting. While it may be fun (and keep your teen quiet for hours), it’s very easy to become addicted to a "virtual" community. Keep your teen grounded in reality by making sure he or she is not neglecting homework, family time, and so on.

4) Trust. You are the parent of a teenager, so you already know you aren’t going to be able to oversee everything he or she does. However, by establishing core values such as healthy self-esteem and respect for others, you can find some comfort in knowing that your teen understands the importance of protecting both self-image and boundaries with his or her (or others') body.

5) Socializing and Dating in the Real World. Talking to your teen about communication online is a perfect segue way into discussing socializing in real life. Use this opportunity to find out how your teen approaches dating, intimacy, and sexual situations. Open and honest communication is essential to developing healthy relationships – between you and your teenagers and well as between your teenagers and their potential boyfriends/girlfriends. Lead by example!

Exploring the world via the internet can be a valuable and positive experience for your teen if supervised properly. However, as with most things, there is a dark side to the Internet that can result in negative influences and even self-imposed sexual exploitation unless your teen is given time and direction while he or she forges an identity.

Make sure your teen isn’t "giving it up” online by teaching boundaries, respect for the act of sex, and respect for themselves. Not only will your teen be more likely to approach online relationships with a healthy attitude, but this approach will carry over to the friendships and relationships they create offline as well.

Consent in Ireland

Thank you to the Rape Crisis Network of Ireland for calling on your country to redefine the word "consent" to help survivors have a better chance in seeking justice through the courts. Unfortunately, much of our world forgets that consent means permission. To get permission to do most things in life, everyone knows they must ask. Yet, most legal systems fail to acknowledge the importance of "asking first" with one of life's precious gifts -- intimacy.

In a report published today (according to the "Irish Examiner"), the RCNI said just 1% of sexual violence cases were currently ending in a prosecution. While our world continually agrees rape is a haneous crime, people and governments need to start doing MORE to back those words.

The Holiday Break

Great to be back after 2 weeks away from everyone here in the online world. Each year, I take the 2 weeks after my traveling from speaking is completed to "refresh." Hope you all had and continue to have a wonderful "HOLIDAY SEASON"!!

Congratulations to Donna

Donna, one of the survivors in "Voices of Courage: Inspiration from Survivors of Sexual Assault" (website www.voicesofcourage.com) has been recognized with the "Voices of Courage" Award from the organization Darkness2Light. (website http://www.darkness2light.com/ ). The award recognizes Donna's participation in the training film "Stewards of Children." Since August 2004, this training film has trained over 5,000 adults in child abuse prevention. The award is given to those who have the heart to step forward and bring the topic of child sex abuse to the forefront. Past recipients were Marilyn Van Debur(former Mrs. America), Eve Ensler (Vagina Monologues), Ann Heche, John Wlash, Time, CNN, Young/Rubicam advertising, and others.

You can read Donna's incredible journey of survival and helping others in "Voices of Courage" (click here to learn how to get the book).

CONGRATULATIONS, DONNA!!!! You deserve the recognition. Your courage and strength is an inspiration to survivors throughout the world!!!